Biting is one of the most distressing things for parents on both sides of it, and one of the most ordinary things in a room of one- and two-year-olds.
Why it happens
Almost always because a toddler has a feeling they cannot express any other way. The typical causes:
- No language yet. A child who cannot say "that's mine" has limited options.
- Teething. Sore gums, and biting relieves pressure.
- Sensory seeking. Some children simply need more oral input.
- Overwhelm. Too loud, too crowded, too tired.
- It worked last time. Biting reliably produces a dramatic result, which is instructive to a two-year-old.
It is not aggression in the adult sense, and it is not a sign of a child with a behaviour problem.
What we do
Attend to the bitten child first. Comfort, cold compress, first aid, and an incident report. Their parents are told the same day.
Respond to the biter briefly and firmly. "No biting. Biting hurts." Short, calm, and then moved to a different activity. A long lecture gives the behaviour more attention, which for some children is the point.
Find the pattern. This is the real work. We log every incident with time, location, and what preceded it. Patterns emerge fast — nearly always a specific time of day, a specific transition, or a specific crowded space. Then we change the conditions rather than trying to change the child.
Give them the words. Teaching "mine" and "stop" is more effective than any consequence.
Shadow if needed. For a persistent phase, an educator stays close to intervene before rather than after.
What we do not do
Bite back, or have the child bite themselves to "see how it feels." Both circulate as advice and both are harmful and ineffective.
Confidentiality
We will not tell you who bit your child, and we will not tell the other family who your child bit. That is not evasion; it is what keeps this from becoming a conflict between families over something entirely developmental.
Nearly every child grows out of it once language arrives. It usually resolves within a few weeks.
